Grandma's Marathon 2009

My slowest marathon ever. I started out running three minutes and walking two, which produces an overall pace of about 11 minutes per mile, for a projected finish between 4:50 and 5:00. But I didn’t feel strong, and the heat got to me, and pretty soon it was walk three and run two, and so on, until at about mile 18 I thought I might be looking at heat exhaustion and stopped running altogether. Soon after, I couldn’t run anyway, because my calves cramped up when I did. At the finish, a time/temp clock on a nearby building said 93 degrees. I finished in 5:44:11, 40th of 52 in my age group. Ugh. But I finished.

According to the Duluth paper, some 577 runners needed medical attention, and I could see others who just quit and got on the pickup bus. Another hot black-flag Grandma’s Marathon, over 70 at the start line. This is what happens when they choose a date that is as close as possible to the longest day of the year. Duluth’s weather can vary - they tell stories about starting in a snowstorm or a strong nor’easter, but I’d much rather have that than what we had Saturday.

Some other runners, though, had much less trouble than I. Like those 39 in my age group who finished ahead of me, including Jared Mondry, age 67, who finished in 3:07:22, ahead of all runners over the age of 55. So what was my problem?

(1) This was my third marathon in three weeks. And I have a cold. I felt OK at the start, but not really strong.

(2) Weight: I’m carrying a few more pounds than I should. The DEX has made it harder to keep weight off, and I have cut my weekly miles back from 40 to 30. I need to make adjustments. I’m in Weight Watchers - I can do that.

(3) Dehydration: I’m convinced now that I became quite dehydrated, because I wasn’t thinking clearly. I normally take a 5-ounce cup of water every two miles, which in most marathons is every two miles. I calculated that out as the proper hydration years ago, and it has worked very well. But it’s not really based on miles, it’s based on time - 5 ounces every 16 to 18 minutes. Except that I’ve slowed dramatically in the last 16 months, so I need to increase the hydration. I didn’t, because I know that hyponatremia (too much water) can occur with slow runners, so I poured the water over my head and held to the old formula, ignoring my thirst and forgetting that I was only drinking half as often. The heat and unrelenting sun just baked us dry.

(4) Beer: At about mile 13 my son brought me a wonderful, cool beer. A full 12-ounce bottle, ice cold. I know that alcohol is very bad for performance athletics, but I must say that I’ve never enjoyed a beer more than that one. Did it cause some of my symptoms? There is a theory that beer causes the kidneys to work overtime, resulting in dehydration, but since I didn’t pee all that day from morning until well after suppertime, I discount that theory in full. The alcohol might have had other bad effects, but hey you only live once.

Other stuff:

Smells:

• People cooking BBQ along the way. That smelled good at first, but not later when I was a little nauseous.
• Restaurants cooking. Mostly hot oil, yesterday’s or last week’s, not the least appetizing.
• Other runners. Sweaty, but not obnoxious because you can simply move over a little and avoid the smell.
• Tarmack. Hot blacktop. The old road surface was so hot that in some places it smelled like it was being repaired, though it was not.
• A woman’s perfume. Imagine so much perfume that people can smell it halfway out into the road.
• Vomit, here and there, from runners who were in worse shape than I, though that smell didn’t help my own nausea!
• Flowers. Can’t tell you what kinds, but they smelled fine.

Bests:

• Best darn aid stations of any marathon anywhere. Lots and lots of water, even on this hottest of days. And usually the water was cold - thats a big plus.
• Beer: Runners get a ticket for one free beer at the finish. That’s one better than most marathons.
• Spectators: This is my seventh Grandmas, and I swear there were more spectators this year than before.
• Transportation to the start: The North Shore Scenic Railroad train. How cool is that. Coach is free, first class costs extra.
• Bumper Sticker: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

Worsts:

• Weather: Five of the last seven of these have been too hot, the other two just OK. At least two of them have been black-flagged, and none have been the "Duluth dream," a cool easterly breeze off the lake. One problem is the sun - the Grandma’s route offers (my guess) less than 10% shade. There’s noplace to hide.
• Traffic control before the race: They close I-35 WAY too early (4:55 am), forcing runners to meander through the downtown construction on their way to the DECC.
• Hotel rip-offs: Unconscionable. I recommend Grandmas Marathon only for people who live in Duluth or know someone who does.

Splits: 9:56, 10:28, 11:17, 11:08, 11:14, 11:13, 34:25 (3 mi), 11:55, 11:31, 11:44, 25:12, 12:19, 13:12, 13:48, 14:20, 44:51 (3 mi), 15:24, 16:21, 32:53 (2 mi), 17:44, total 5:44:11.